Work Experience Tales 1

We've provided a placement for students to do work experience with us most years. We've had a mix of people and definitely a mix of personalities, and fortunately we've never had anybody that's been any real 'problem' or 'trouble'. But there's occasionally some interesting events.

One particular student was asked to feed the birds that were kept in some private avaries at the back of the shop. He had taken care of these birds before with no problem, but this time he seemed to be gone for quite a while. Often the work experience students will drag a job out a little, or be texting on their phones, so I just figured he was procrastinating.

Anyway, I didn't have long to consider the reason because the phone rang.

"Is that the pet shop in [village]?"
- Yes, it is.
"Okay, thanks, bye."

A weird phonecall, sure, but we've had weirder. Less than a minute later, it rang again.

"Hi. It's Kris." (the student)
- Uh, hi. Why are you ringing...
"I'm stuck in the aviary, I can't get out."

I walked out the back to see what had happened, imagining that somehow there had been some huge collapse of wood preventing his escape.

There hadn't.

- Were you 'stuck' for long?
"Yeah... Quite a while..."
- Why didn't you call sooner?
"Well. I got stuck and shouted for a while but nobody came. Then I tried to kick the door in and..."
- You tried to kick the door in?
"...Um... No? I mean, I just tried to open it."
- Right
"But it wouldn't. So I thought I'd call you. But I don't have the number. So I called my mum to look it up, but we couldn't remember the name of the shop. So mum called all the shops in the directory until she found the right one. Then she called me back with your number, so I called you. I'm stuck, see?"
- Why didn't you just turn the latch from the inside?
"Oh..."

Security

So, the Chip & Pin system was introduced to increase security on physical debit/credit card transactions. Excellent. I'm sure it works and has successfully reduced fraud. Hurrah. However, there are some people out there who really seem to be doing their best to put themselves at risk:

:::::::

- Okay, if you just pop your card in the slot there. And now, if you'd like to enter your PIN please.

"7253"

- Sorry?

"7253. My pin is 7253. Can you type it in for me?"

- ...

Declaring your PIN number when standing at the front of a queue is probably not classed as 'secure'.

:::::::

- Okay, if you just pop your card in the slot there. And now, if you'd like to enter your PIN please.

"Oh dammit. Sorry. Can I take the card back out?"

- Yeah sure. Is it the wrong card?

"No no. I can't remember my PIN."

- Oh okay. Do you have another card, or cash?

"No, it's okay. I've written the PIN in Tippex on the bottom of the card. I just need to check it."

- ...

Writing your PIN on the card probably isn't especially secure either.

:::::::

Then there's the hundreds of other people that keep their PINs written down on a piece of card, in their wallet or purse, next to the cards themselves.

Discount

"How much is the canary?"
- £15
"Hmm. And how much is the carry cage?"
- £12
"Right. Hmm. That's a little more than I was hoping to pay."
- Okay, no worries.
"Could you do any discount? Would you take, say, £30 for the canary and cage?"
- Oooh... I reckon I could stretch to that...

Any Hints?

A man walks into the shop, sees me, and shouts the name of the shop in my direction. I nod and inform him that, yes, that's where he is.

"I want the brown ones."
- Okay. Erm...
"Brown bits."
- Right okay. Brown... Feed?
"And multicoloured ones too."

Generally, when customers are ridiculously vague, they are after wild bird seed (since they tend to ignore the fact that anything else in the shop even exists).

- Okay. Is it seed?
"The same one I had last time."

This was the first time I had met this customer.

- Seed?
"No."
- What's it for?
"My dog."

Aaaaaaah....

- Ah right okay. Is it a full sack you were after? This is the multicoloured one we do.
"No. Just little bags."
- Oh, we don't do small bags of that one.

He then turns to the shelf next to him, picks up two bags of dog treats, and goes up to me at the till.

"These are the ones. Thank you."

Well obviously.

Unintentionally Rhetorical

"How much are the bags of hay?"
- £2.15 each. So that's £6.45 for the pack of three.
"Hmmm... How many do you get in a pack of three?"
- Uhhh... Well, three.

Opening hours

Another Sunday at work.

One of our regular customers comes in, wanders around for a little while, purchases a few items, then stands to chat for a few minutes.

This particular customer comes in quite frequently, usually once a week, and always, always either on a Saturday or Sunday. During the course of conversation, discussing how trade is and what birds he is breeding at the moment, the customer asks:

"Do you open weekends?"

 

Persistence doesn't change anything

Yellow Fife Canary

"Are any of those canaries hens?"
- No, sorry, they are all cock birds.
"All of them?"
- Yep, all of them I'm afraid.
"Have you got any hens?"
- Uh, no. All the canaries are male.
"They are all males?"
- Yes
"No hens at all?"
- No
"What about that yellow one?"
- That's male too. They are all male.
"Can I take the green one, is that a hen?"
- No. It's a cock bird. We don't have any hen canaries.
"Are these all the canaries you've got?"
- Yes
"Have you got any hens out the back?"
- No. We don't keep any birds out the back. We don't have any hens.
"Oh. I want a hen."
- We only have cock birds I'm afraid. We might have some hens coming in soon.
"Okay, I'll come back in a week or so."
- No worries
"I will pay you a little more for a hen."
- Lovely, but we don't have any right now.
"Okay, I'll see you again soon."
- Okay, thanks.
"..."
- ...
"What about the white one?"