Monday 30 July 2012

Transportation II : This Time It's Birdsonal

A customer from a previous post came in with a request that made me suspect her bird-keeping skills (and, indeed, rights).

 "Hi! I have an emergency request"
 - Okay
 "We are driving to Belfast this evening and need something to transport our Amazon parrot in."
 - Oh, well, I'm not sure if we ha...
 "And it needs to be very small. Our car is absolutely full of luggage already. We need something very compact. Like a small nest-box or something."

An Amazon parrot is about the size of the popular African Grey, a good twelves inches long or more. A small nest box would not be remotely suitable even for ten seconds.

 - Hmm. I don't think we really have anything suitable for that.
 "It needs to be very small."

She looks at a parakeet nest box. The parrot would barely fit in there, never mind have space to move.

 - That's not really big enough for an Amazon
 "Well, something about that size. How about a little budgie cage?"

An Amazon would chew its way through the bars within seconds. And, again, it simply would not be big enough.

 - We don't have anything at all suitable.
 "Well. What on earth do people use to transport a parrot?"
 - They often use a dog-crate or large pet-carrier, similar to something you would use to take a cat to the vets. But bigger.
 "Oh. Well. This visit has been pointless."

And off they went.

And I then watched as, before they got in the car, they talked to each other outside - presumably trying to work out some way to vacuum-pack their poor parrot.

Saturday 28 July 2012

Transportation

We stock three main sizes of collapsible rabbit runs. The biggest, at six foot long, naturally doesn't fit in many cars, so we are willing to deliver within a certain distance. One particular customer made it fairly clear that's what she wanted.

 "How big is the run?"
 - Six foot, by three foot.
 "Oh, I've brought my Porsche with me."
 - Okay
 "I won't be able to put in my Porsche."
 - Right, okay
 "My Porsche isn't big enough"
 - No, okay. Well, we can deliver it.
 "Yes please, that would be for the best. I have a Porsche, and it won't fit in it".

Okay, I get it, you have Porsche. Lovely.

Wednesday 25 July 2012

Informative

I was talking to a customer about canaries when he decided he'd share some information with me:

 "I read about something recently."
 - Oh yes?
 "Yeah. It was study or something like that."
 - ...
 "I think it was a university that did it, I don't remember."
 - ...
 "It might have been in America, maybe."
 - ...
 "But they did a study."
 - ...
 "I can't recall exactly what they did."
 - ...
 "But they did this study, it was really interesting."
 - ...
 "Not sure what the findings were, but it was really good."
 - ...
 "Anyway, I best be off. Bye!"
 - ...Bye.

I'll make sure I never forget that little token of knowledge.

Sunday 22 July 2012

Young Ones

Over the past few years there's been a couple of times when we've taken in an animal, only to discover that it is pregnant. In particular, guinea pigs can become pregnant at a very young age, but sometimes rabbits too arrive with us only to give birth a couple of weeks later.

Recently, we had a rabbit give birth to six babies. A customer with his daughter, seeing the baby rabbits a week after they were born, asked about them.

 "Did you breed them yourself?"
 - No, the female was already pregnant when she came in to us. So it was a bit of a surprise.
 "How old are they?"
 - Only a week old today.
 "How old do they have to be before they can leave their mother?"
 - Well, at the very least about eight weeks.
 "Can I buy one now?"
 - We aren't taking deposits on them at the moment, because anything could happen in the meantime. If you still want one in a few weeks, then come in again and we'll see how things are.
 "No. I want to buy one now."
 - I'm sorry, we aren't taking deposits on them.
 "I don't want to leave a deposit. I want to take one of them today."
 - Today?"
 "Yes."
 - They aren't ready yet.
 "Surely you can get let one go today? My daughter wants one of the white ones."
 - They aren't old enough to leave their mother yet.
 "It'll be alright."
 - It doesn't even have its eyes open yet, and still needs its mother for food.
 "We'll give it food, and wait for its eyes to open, it won't take long."
 - I'm sorry, but they cannot leave their mother for at least another seven weeks.
 "Surely you can get let one go."
 - If we sell it to you now, it will die. So we will not sell it to you.
 "I'd look after it. If it dies, we won't come back for a refund."
 - No. They are not for sale.

This is not the first time that I've had this conversation with someone. I'm sure it won't be the last.

Saturday 14 July 2012

Zeeeeeeeeeebra

As I think I have mentioned before, zebra finches are pretty much the cheapest cage bird that can be bought in the UK. As a result, we sell an awful lot of them. What amuses me is that about 90% of the people that ask for them say the word 'zebra' the American way, i.e. zeeeeeebra (/ˈziːbɹə/). However, I would happily put money on those people saying it the English way (/ˈzɛbɹə/) when referring to the striped, horse-like creatures. I don't know why they feel it necessary to change the pronunciation when talking about the bird. Strange.

Thursday 12 July 2012

RIP

 "I'd like to buy one of your zebra finches please."
 - Okay, no problem. Any particular colour?
 "I'd like a white hen."

The customer leaves with the white, female zebra finch that he chose.

Two days later, the customer returns carrying a small cardboard box with him; an obvious sign that there is a problem.

 "I bought a zebra finch from you a couple of days ago."
 - Yes, I remember. Is there a problem?
 "Yes. It was dead this morning. Look!"

He hands over the box. I look inside and, sure enough, there is a dead zebra finch inside.

 "You see? Can I have a refund please?"
 - I can't I'm afraid.
 "Why not?"
 - This is a grey male. You bought a white female.
 "..."
 - ...
 "Oh yeah."
 

Monday 9 July 2012

Returns

 "I need a hen canary. I'd like that one please."
 - We don't have any hens at the moment. That one is a cock bird.
 "It looks like a hen to me."
 - It came in because it was a cock bird: the owner had too many spare males.
 "Hmm, I'm not so sure. I reckon its a hen."
 - We've also seen it singing
 "I think I'll take it anyway."
 - Okay, that's fine, but I am selling it to you as a male.
 "Fine, fine. I'm pretty sure it's a hen though."
 - Well, that's up to you. But we are selling it as male, you understand?
 "Yes."
 - And you are happy to buy this male canary, because you think it is a hen?
 "Yes."
 - Okay

Two days later...

 "Hi, I bought this canary from you a couple of days ago."
 - Yes...
 "Well, you told me it was a hen, but it has just started singing. Clearly it's a cock bird."

Wednesday 4 July 2012

The Direct Approach

A phone call:

 "Hi there. I spoke to someone last week about doing work experience at your store?"
 - Oh right. Sorry, I don't think it was me you spoke to, but can I help at all.
 "Well, I was doing an animal course at college and asked if your store could offer me a work experience placement.The person I spoke to said that it is usually arranged via the college, so I said I would find out."
 - Ah okay.
 "However, I decided I'm not going to do that course anymore."
 - Oh, I see
 "I'm going to do agriculture instead."

I thought to myself, 'Well, it's nice of her to at least ring up to let us know she's not going to be starting work experience with us anymore'.

 - Oh okay. Well, fair enough.
 "Yeah, so I won't need a work experience placement anymore."
 - No, I guess not.

And then came the punchline...

 "So can you just give me a job instead and pay me whatever money?"

Well, that's one way to apply for work I suppose.